I. Keys to Better Parenting
We have a choice: Either we teach our children good value or we abandon their future to chance. If we don't teach our children, somebody else will.
Consider the influence on your children: other neighborhood kids, 30 or more hours before the television each week, questionable music, movies and printed material and unrestricted peer pressure from classmates.
Who is really teaching them?
For most parents, the honest answer is that others have far more influence on their children than they do.
How can we gain and maintain proper influence over what our children learn?
How can we help ensure that they learn proper values and standards?
The Key of Education
The pattern of a child's life is often established by age 3. After this age basic patterns of behavior change only with considerable difficulty; the child's personality is largely set. After age 3, however, a child will learn a great deal through formal education. Reading to your children while they are young broadens their world and sets the stage for them to satisfy their intellectual curiosity. You can help your children to love books.
Suggest books that match their interest. If they're fascinated by one author, encourage them to read other books by the same writer. Let your children choose some of what they read. Make time to take them to the library to browse among the books of their choice. Reading to your children teaches more than just learning skills. It also brings families closer and makes children feel they re loved.
Do not fail to give your children spiritual guidance. A good way to do this is to read to them from the Bible. As you go through biblical stories with them, note the problems the real-life men and women of Bible times faced and how they dealt with them. Point out the lessons they learned and the case-and effect relationships described there. The
Bible is a book of cause and effect and often shows the consequences of right and wrong behavior. Its lessons can help your children through difficult times in their lives.
The Key of Personal Involvement
Many parents, busy with their jobs, careers and other pressures, are quick to give money ant other things to their children. It's too easy to overlook the fact that, rather than money and other things, what they really crave is out time with them.
It's difficult to overstate the importance of parental involvement. Children simply need their parents. They want and require parental love, attention, support and encouragement. If you take the time to look around and notice well-balanced, secure children, you can usually follow the involvement trails right back to their parents. Get involved with your children. You will reap rich dividends for yourself ad them
The Key of Disciplining in Love
Parents should sensitively and lovingly guide their families. They should set sensible rules for their children, appropriate to teach each child's age. peace requires order, and order requires certain rules. Parents must take the time to explain why each rule exists – in a way The child can understand at this or her age – showing that rules are set to help, not hurt.
Of course, parents must follow the same rules. If children are expected to eat good breakfast, Dad shouldn't head out the door with a doughnut clenched between his teeth. Scripture describes the value and effectiveness of self-discipline (Proverbs 7:1-2; 8:33-36; 10:17; 13:1, 18:19:20), which takes patient teaching and a good parental example. When small children understand how things work and how they benefit from doing things right, they are more apt to successfully govern themselves.
The Keys of Hugging, Holding and Reassurance.
A parent should never feel embarrassed to show affection through hugging and holding his children. All children need affection and reassurance to know that their parents really love them. When they succeed at just about anything, encourage them, letting them know you are pleased to see their success. Say it in your own words, of course, but say it. Children need reassurance, just as adult do.
Life is short, gone before we know it. Parents, love your children and teach them while you can. Take advantage of the time you as a parent have your children.
II. Turn Knowledge Into Practice
We live in a secular, selfish society. Self-sacrifice is out, self-gratifications is in. Our children pick up on this; they are constantly exposed to it. To counteract this unfortunate circumstance, right value must be taught and lived in their presence. Here are some questions you might ask yourself to see if you are effectively instilling proper values in you children:
Are you involved in your children's lives?
Some children say they would rather give up a parent before they would be willing to give up watching television. This doesn't say much for parental involvement.
Studies show that children have greater intelligence when parents regularly spend time with them. Involvement comes when you talk with your children, take the time to put them to bed, pray with them, help them with homework, drive them to their activities, etc.
Children need father and mother and a proper relationship with both. A friend said to me that he spent so much of his formative years with his mother that he considered hi father just a long-term houseguest with spanking privileges.
Do you cheer you children successes?
It's natural for a father to support and identify with his son, but what about his daughter? A daughter too, must emotionally understand he father's concern for her welfare and success in life. Parents can make a dramatic difference in positively shaping in their children's future when they take the time to applaud and work toward their successes.
Can the children count on you? Do you keep your promises?
Children take parents at their words. Kept promises means a lot to them. It sometimes requires sacrificing our time and resources to keep them. But the effort will be worth it.
Do you tune out your children?
Children need their parents' attention, especially when around other people. If we fail to give them our attention, they may resort to other means, including acting, dressing or grooming themselves in outrageous ways.
Are you understand in a conflict?
Sometimes children want to do something to which their parents are opposed. In such cases parents should be honest and open with their children, explaining why they feel the time of situation is not right or why the action is inappropriate. Parents may feel the child is too young or that it is not safe for him or her. Explaining your reasons for refusing a request can strengthen a relationship with those you love.
Do you back each other?
Parents need to agree on household and stick to them. If the children try to get either parent to break the rules, both parents should remember their agreement made to each other and refuse such a request. Children gain a sense of security from living with two adults who love and support each other.
Some quotes from the articles: "Examples"
Parents have a vital role in educating their children, not just by what they say, but by what they are. Remember so many children always say: When I grow up, I want to be just like my dad (or mom). How about when you find a child say; "When I grow up, I don't want to be like my dad (or mom) because he/she is not a good role model."?
A parent's example is indelibly imprinted on his children. We live in an era of parent speaking to their children with demeaning, self-destructive phrases: "You are stupid! You idiot!" These terms show frustration and selfishness on the part of parents. Why would adults use such language with their children? All too often it's because that's the way their parents talked to them. Society accumulates habits, attitudes and practices – particularly in family relationships. The most important key to raising a moral child can be summarized in one word: example.
The power of parental example knows no bounds. By conscientiously striving to set the best example possible for your child, you can bring up a moral child in today's world. Perhaps the acid test of a good parent is to ask the simple question: Would you be happy if your children grew to be like you? God's value can help parents bring up happy, secure, successful children.
Parents can have the knowledge and assurance to guide them in brining up moral child. In the reality of our life based on the quotes above, every time we find our child (children) are not as we expected; naughty, talk back, talk dirty, don't have any respect, always challenge, lie, spitting, hitting each other, or else, pay attention to this lessons: The parents need to change about themselves before trying to change their children.
When your child (children) do something bad / being naughty, don't yell at them or spank them or directly give a punishment / consequence / timeout, or just tell what to do, but COME DOWN TO CHILD (HIS / HER EYE) LEVEL AND EXPLAIN THEIR BEHAVIOR. Make them understand why this in not good, or wrong, share your feeling to see them doing that. Create a close relationship. When they understand, they will change their behavior and say an apology to you. They will know that you love them so much.
Good luck parents!